Getting back on my feet

They say that before you can run again, you have to start walking first. This always makes me think about those people who suffered a massive brain damage and we always see a video of them trying to walk on a treadmill, their hands clutching the handlebars so hard, sweaty and making an effort to coordinate their wobbling steps.

I sometimes felt the same mentally.

Six months before leaving my former job, I reached one of the lowest points in my professional life and not only (although not many knew this, as I did everything I could to hide it). I will leave that story for some other time.

But do you know why I was so down? Because I felt that I was not myself anymore. It was as if my personality got erased and now I had to live with a new one, that was bare and empty. This new personality of mine was insecure and had no sense of humour (that was the worse) and no creativity. She was incapable of empathy, of sharing, of opening up to others. She was catatonic emotionally. Again, all these things were happening deep down inside. I did my best to save appearances. I hate taps on the back and silverlining speeches. Spare me.

I think that the fancy word for this state is "burn out". But I am not psychologist and I don't really care if it has a name or is simply the loss of all hope and perspective. Plus, to be honest I don't fully believe in psychologists.

Almost one year later, I am not yet fully recovered, but I feel my old self coming back to me.

Some things I did and worked very well:
1. I changed jobs to a smaller company with family-oriented culture
2. I started to exercise every morning (ok, *almost every morning)
3. I picked up some of my hobbies and passions (like writing...)
4. I take long walks to/from work.
4. I learnt to enjoy every day of my life. I sometimes sit and stare at nature, trying to take a mental picture of the unobserved beauty around me.
5. I continue my studies, and that makes me feel more confident about my future.
6. I push myself again to get out of my "comfort zone" and start saying/doing things that are not in my habit. This helps my relationships grow and improve my self esteem.

Also, I started reading a beginner NLP book (and don't start with the criticism, let's just accept that for some it works and for some it doesn't). Here it is:

http://www.amazon.com/Richard-Bandlers-Guide-Trance-Formation-Great/dp/0007301987

So...did you ever feel so down? If yes, how did you recover (or are you still struggling)?

Here we go - why am I blogging too?

Let me put this out there (and then never bring it up again): I am not a blogger. I know it sounds kind of cliche and dramatic to start a blog with this "confession". The natural remarks following this would be: "Then why are you here?" and "Define blogger".

Ok, I will explain. I am here because I want to improve my writing skills. I also found it more practical to have an online "journal" (I can't use the word "diary", it makes me think of highschool girls who babble about boys and biffles). So sorry to put it bluntly, but I'm doing this more for me than for you out there. At least for now. (But don't despair, Reader. Maybe one day, you'll get to be one of the very first followers of a world famous blogger. One has to hope.)

What is a "blogger" for me? It's a person that has a natural way with tracking most part of their life/thoughts online. It's somebody that has an innate talent of sharing their existence with others (known or unknown). I am not like that. Sorry. If you expect me to write every other day, sharing my life/thinking with you, it won't happen. First, because I don't have time (another cliche, I know). But I really don't in this point of my life (ask my friends). Second, because I am not in my "witty" mood all the time. That would be exhausting.

What you will find in this blog, if you decide to "keep an eye" on it? Two things: my thoughts about business/finance/life in general (with anecdotes, I promise) and my bitching about social norms (also with anecdotes). Two of my favorite subjects of discussion, especially drinking a glass of wine or a pint (for inspiration).

So... these being said...

I'll see you around!